APRIL FOOLS: The Brandeis Brief
Gordie Fellman joins gang
Students and faculty alike were shocked by Professor Gordie Fellmans (SOC) announcement that he has joined a violent local gang.
Yeah, I just woke up one day and thought, what am I doing? Why arent I kicking more ass? Why arent I kicking any ass? said the professor.
For more than 40 years, Fellman has been at Brandeis teaching peace and coexistence, doing activist work in his spare time. Fellman was seen on Monday in camouflage, listening to NWA and kicking frolicking Lemberg children on his way to Pearlman.
Some of his plans now include excessive meat eating, moving his family to Dorchester, and general hooliganism. When asked for a final comment, Fellman hopped in his minivan and said Please excuse me, I have to pick up my kids from day care and grab some organic hummus for dinner. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!
More posts by The Brandeis Hoot
- Brandeis community needs to support all discussions - March 7, 2014
- Univ should take preventative measures rather than wait for crisis - February 28, 2014
- Protest valiant effort, but requires better organization - February 14, 2014
- Three serious injuries call for immediate need for improved crosswalk safety precautions - February 7, 2014
- Finance board inconsistent in funding allotments and regulations - January 31, 2014