Contact your local poison control center immediately
As Brandeis Universitys go-to-guy for questions concerning serious life-altering issues, such as, Why does the university insist on stocking the bathrooms with toilet paper so thin that it disintegrates at the flatulence of a bacterium and you have to fold it in half in excess of 84 times before attempting use?, the future of peoples psychiatric health lays squarely at my fingertips. Some days I get so many questions that I dont even have time to copy my lab report from someone else seven minutes before its due.